my life starting now….

first, i gave you 2 chances. no more. i love you. but i’m not waiting around being pathetic. you need to live your life, and i need to live mine. nothing against you or what we had. but i deserve better. besides it will be a good change being friends. time for me to be strong, quit caving in, and move on without feeling bad. cause pretty sure you aren’t at all. 

second, i’ve decided after college to live for a year in hawaii. find a small place right on the beach to share with my best friend. surf all day long. and work at night to pay the bills. sounds like the life to me.

third, no bad days. i’ve come to realize that bad days come from how you start it. so lets think positive. cause everything is gonna be alright. and it makes things much less stressful. 

fourth, PEOPLE STARTING WRITING ME MESSAGES OR NOTES OR WHATEVER. ANYTHING, QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, CONCERNS. i want to hear from you! :)

The Original decision

there are things i will remember, there are things i will forget. i look at my past and feel i’ve wasted my time. i look at moments and wish i could’ve seized the day, everyday like this. the past three years i wish i made different with the original first decision. that made my three years what they are. but there are moments where i see why i did. did i make the right decision? i feel it all went by so fast, and there’s not really anything that makes my decision the right one…

onto the next chapter…

farewell to the feeling of guilt,

farewell to the tears of sorrows,

farewell to be being thrown and forgotten

farewell to giving up

farewell to not being strong

farewell to caving in

farewell to being the victim

if i go i’m goin, you’ve had your chances. you took me for granted thinking i would always be by yourside, and i will be, just not the way you want it to be. i’m sorry it has to be this way right now. i need time to focus on me.

i’ve loved you in the fall, i’ve loved you in the rain, i’ve loved you in darkness, i’ve loved you in the haze, but i see no reflection of the same. just because the leaves are falling for you. everyone has leaves falling, sometimes even broken branches too.

here’s to the feeling you thought you’d forgotten, here’s to the feeling i forgot to live by, here’s to the feeling you’ll have until you learn from the bed you made.